How could this happen to me
by lizzieten
Summary: song fic based off of Simple Plan's Untitled Dean and Sam are involved in an drinking accident. Death fic! please read and review


How could this happen to me

Disclaimer: I don't own the boys or anything Supernatural related.

I open my eyes, I try to see

But I'm blinded by the white light

I can't remember how

I can't remember why

I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain

And I can't make it go away

No, I can't stand the pain.

Dean wakes to the pain of being poked and prodded, he moans lowly. He wished they would stop cause they were only making it hurt worse. He wonders what happened to make him feel so terrible.

"I think he's waking up" Dean hears a gentle voice say.

"Mr. Winchester, can you hear me?" was called quite loudly somewhere near his ear. Dean moans again and tries to move away from the sound only to discover he couldn't move his neck because there was something around it. Dean opens his eyes only to shut them tightly against the light that flooded them which only brought him even more pain.

"What happened? Dean moaned as he slowly reopened his eyes this time better prepared for the harsh light. "Where am I?"

"You are in the emergency room; you were brought in after you crashed your vehicle."

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked confused because he didn't see his brother anywhere. "He wasn't in the accident with me was he?" Dean notices the wary look that passed between nurse and doctor and a bad feeling filled his stomach. Bad news was coming he could feel it.

"I'm sorry Mr. Winchester but I'm afraid your brother didn't make it."

How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes

Got nowhere to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just want to scream

How could this happen to me?

Dean stared at the doctor bewildered Sam couldn't be dead. He had been just fine when he had left him at the motel. Then it all came crashing to the front of his mind. The fight he'd had with Sam; punching him in the face; telling him if he didn't know him he would want to hunt him. Then he remembers storming out of the room and driving to the nearest bar and getting wasted beyond belief. Dean would never forget the look of pure hurt on Sam's face for as long he as he lived. Dean had known he had hurt Sam with his words. Now Dean wouldn't even be able to make up for it, to tell Sam that he didn't mean a word that he said, that he still loved his little brother.

Dean swallowed hard against the lump that had formed in his throat; he was still having a hard time accepting that his little brother was no longer alive.

"Sam wasn't with me when I went to the bar and I know he wasn't with me when I left. How did he end up dead?"

"You hit a pedestrian while you were driving drunk, it was your brother." The doctor said.

Dean's face paled he hoped he had heard the doctor wrong that he wasn't the reason why his brother was dead.

"You're telling me I killed my own brother?" Dean whispered. The doctor nodded and Dean promptly threw up all over the bed. He wished now that he had never gone to the bar; it wasn't worth the pain of losing the person you loved most in the world. Dean felt like getting sick again the more he thought about him being the reason Sam was gone. His father would be disappointed in him and would probably hate him for what he had done. He was supposed to protect Sam not kill him.

Everybody's screaming

I try to make a sound

But no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge

I'm hanging on by a thread

I want to start this over again

So I try to hold onto

A time when nothing mattered

And I can't explain what happened.

And I can't erase the things I've done

No, I can't.

After the doctor had informed Dean that he was the reason Sam was dead. He shut everyone out. Nothing else mattered now that the last person Dean cared about was no longer here with him. Sam was the only thing that was keeping him human, now that he was gone. There was no telling what Dean would become but there was one thing for certain. He wouldn't outlive Sam by much; he would make sure of it. Dean didn't want to exist in a world where Sam did not.

"I'm so sorry, Sammy" Dean whispers brokenly "I'm sorry for the fight we had. I'm sorry I took your life. You're not the one who deserves to be dead, you're not the monster, I am."

How could this happen to me?

I've made my mistakes

Got nowhere to run

The night goes on

As I'm fading away

I'm sick of this life

I just want to scream

How could this happen to me?

Dean knew that when he was released he would be released into the police's custody after all they didn't take drinking and driving very lightly. He knew would be spending a long time in jail for the murder of his own brother. Prison was too good a punishment for what Dean had done, he thought that since his brother was dead. Death was the only punishment suitable for him. Why should he be able to live when his brother couldn't?

Dean was officially released from the hospital a week after the accident had occurred. He was released straight into police custody; as the arresting officer entered the room. Dean made a beeline for the officer's gun. Having grabbed it he raised it to his head and pressed it against his temple. Before the officer could grab it Dean pulled the trigger but right before he whispered: "I'm sorry Sammy, this is for you."


End file.
